I will miss Steak N Shake, though....

I'm having an emotional week. It's my last week of work, and while the reason for going is totally awesome and I'm ready for a new adventure, the whole "leaving my jobs and my home and not having a job set up yet" part of this is very very scary. It's also very sad to be leaving my coworkers, these people who I have seen all the time for the past however many years. I'm going to miss them. I'm going to stay in touch, because I want to know how everybody is doing, how they are liking/despising the changes at work, and how their families are. I feel like I've been through so much with everyone else's lives while mine has stayed fairly the same.

So this is a big change, and I'm having to accept, adjust, maybe even mourn, but it's making me stronger. It's also evident to me how much stronger I am now than I was before. I mean, look at the decisions I've made! Look at the scary big changes I'm facing! I'm doing things that I've wanted to do but not had the balls to do for all of this time.

So it's a week of lasts. A few weeks of them, I guess, and then I'll be off to my new home. It's not like I can't come visit, and hopefully I find a job that allows me to be able to take the time to visit and to afford the trips. But right now I'm unsure of that, and unsure of the future. Turns out, though, that I don't mind as much as I thought. I can't take any doggies right now, but I'll try later when I've moved to my own place. All of this is making me anxious and nervous and scared. But not afraid to go. No. Just aware that the changes on the outside of me will bring changes to the inside of me.

I am also totally mystified by the people who think that I'm just going somewhere for awhile and I'll be back. As if this is the only place to settle down and live your life and raise a family. Quite frankly, I can't imagine doing that. Ick. Don't these people realize that if that was part of my plan, I would've already started down the track of doing that? I'm 29, if I wanted to get married and have kids and live here until I died, I would already have gotten married and probably popped out a few babies. I have been, for many years, basically treading water, waiting for my next big thing, and scared to do anything too wild or out there because I would surely sink. But you know what? I'm not just going to swim out of this fishbowl, hell no baby, I'm gonna fly! (well, drive, lol, really, but uh... oh you get my point!)